So I rented this game, Too Human. Some of you may have heard of it since it had a fair bit of hype. So I pop it in ye olde 360 and fire it up. Cool graphics, 5 different classes all very different, awesome, goodish voice acting for a video game, your main character is a Norse God, badass. Killing robots with guns magic and sword? Right on! However all this goodness would come crashing down at right about the hour and a half mark.

This game was extremely simple. As in “insulting my intelligence simple.” To attack with your sword or whatever melee tool of destruction, all you have to do is point the right thumb stick in the direction of the bad guy you want to die. Well that’s fun for the first little bit and then the game becomes a mildly interactive movie, and not a very good movie either. Well alright, let’s move onto guns, well its even less complicated, pull the trigger, the game does the aiming for you. Now on a 3rd person shooter, some aim assist is appreciated, but when all you have to do is pull a trigger. Well why not go take a pee and play the game form there? Wireless controller, booya. Okay, okay, magic use has to have some sort of trick to it right? Negative. Other than building up you combo meter by attacking enemies, all you have to do for magic is tap the right bumper, and cool looking magic explosion erupts form the ground around your character and throws the enemies back and does some damage. Yep, pretty fantastic. The only interesting part of the combat system at all is the aerial combat, and even then its not too hard to master. You simply juggle someone into the air and jump, then attack them and your character will go flying towards them sword-a-flailing. But that isn’t really necessary seeing as the most you’ll need to kill an enemy is 5 hits, maybe 6. Some of them you can kill in one hit.

So that’s the combat, which is my biggest beef, but that’s not it. Like I said earlier, they have cool graphics, but they didn’t take advantage of the abilities of the Xbox 360. None of the characters seem to have facial expressions, they just kind of talk. At one point your character is pissed that no one told him how his wife actually died and all though his voice is mildly angry, his face is rather blank. Oh yeah, the story is a piece of crap too, it’s weak and unclear.

One thing that is really dumb is the fact that there is no penalty for death. Well your armor gets slightly damaged, but fear not, go back to town and you can get it repaired, so you don’t lose that epic armor you’ve worked oh so hard to acquire. So you die, a valkyrie comes and takes you to Valhalla, but then you respawn a slight distance from where you died and back into the fray you go! So you can literally die your way through the game, which is quite boring. The bosses are also simply tedious, there are no tricks to lowering their health faster, just grind ‘em down while you die and come back to remove some more of his health bar. Even the final boss is lame, I understand this game is going to be a trilogy, which worries me, but c’mon, at least make her harder to beat. .

The only replay ability this game has is the fact that you can be 5 different classes. The A.I. is also pretty useless, occasionally you’ll get soldiers or even another god on your side, but they do nothing, seriously. The soldiers occasionally fire off a few warning shots, and the other gods stand there and look awesome or walk slowly and give the enemy a stern word.

All in all, the game is a fun rental for a few days, but there’s no way I’d buy it. In fact the most fun I’ve had with it so far is changing the spoken language to German, which is always entertaining.

Goodbye.