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Ok guys. Cities across the continent are hosting “seasonal” parades, and the malls are filled with small children running in fear of the large jolly man in the red suit. It’s the holiday season once again. Not only does this time of year make people sing the praises of surviving another year, but it also makes people hate their fellow man as the “good tidings” are rubbed in their faces, especially with the music.

Now, I happen to love the holiday season and all the music that goes along with it. But, I can understand how irritating “Rudolf the Red Nosed Raindeer” becomes after awhile. So, I decided to share with you all some tunes that might not normally make a holiday playlist. Whether you want to roll in tinsel or hurl eggs at your neighborhood carolers, there will be something on this list to really hit on your feelings this holiday season.

“Pass the Eggnog, A Muppet Christmas Carol is starting!”

For those of you who love this season, and all the twinkling light displays and Christmas specials that go along with it. You love the classic holiday tunes sung by Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, and Ella Fitzgerald, but you wish there was something a little more modern and edgy than N’SYNC’s “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.”

Suggestions:

My Chemical Romance: “All I Want for Christmas is You” – I’m sure you know the original by Mariah Carey. This version is revved up and Gerard’s vocals make it a much better Christmas song to jam to.

Gatsby’s American Dream: “Christmas Time is Here” – The one original song from that Charlie Brown Christmas special, redone in 2003 by a now defunct alternative/punk group with an affinity for literary references. This version, I find, is a great song to rediscover the meaning of the season, without the sappy connotations.

“I just broke up with your girlfriend/boyfriend, and right now the holiday jewelry commercials make me angrier than usual.”

You were all excited to spend the holiday season with that special person, but they just went and broke your heart. Now the sight of Santa and his merry helpers makes you want to impale them on their own candy canes. You just wish that holiday songs came in bitter.

Suggestions:

Fall Out Boy: “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” – These boys do the angry break-up song so well, especially this one with a Christmas twist. This should help your homicidal tendencies when that Zales commercial comes on in the middle of the House marathon you Tivoed for yourself.

New Found Glory: “Ex’Miss” – At bit more upbeat than Fall Out Boy, but great for dancing those relationship/holiday blues away. Especially the use of Christmas bells in the chorus. They get the holiday season feel without the mocking feel that other seasonal music can have.

Honorable Mention:

Punchline: “Icicles” – not exactly a break up song, but I had to put it in here. Punchline’s harmonies will warm your frostbitten heart, even if the lyrics are a bit chilly.

“Why is a creepy, old, home invader in a red suit revered? Shouldn’t someone be calling the cops, or at least social services to get him into a home?"

You hate this season. The constant cheerful music, the hordes of holiday shoppers, and of course the ear piercing scream of some small child who really does not want to be on Santa’s lap. When you think holidays, your blood rises, and people have to restrain you from throwing snow balls mixed with rocks at the carolers. You yearn for a holiday tune that reflected the negative aspects of the season.

Suggestions:

Blink-182: “I Won’t be Home for Christmas” – this song embodies all the negative feelings that someone can have about the season, with the normal Blink humor. Plus, it’s a great way to vent your frustration with the holiday season, without having to visit the police. Just listen to this song, and take a few deep breaths.

MxPx: “Christmas Night of Zombies” – it combines Christmas with zombies. What more needs to be said? You can fantasize that Santa is fighting the undead with a candy cane machine gun, while Rudolf shoots lasers out of his nose. See? The holidays can be fun!

I hope that my brief list of holiday tunes for every mood has opened your eyes to the many variations on the holidays, and that you have found something to play this time of year. Remember, just because it’s the holidays it doesn’t mean you can’t rock out!