.rants.rants.rants.rants.rants.rants.rants.rants.rants.
You Know What Really Grinds MY Gears?
Have you ever seen that episode of Family Guy where Peter starts working for Quahog News in a segment
called, “ You know what really grinds my gears?” – This is my version.
You know what really grinds my gears?
When gyms advertise with pictures of super thin/ripped people who always have a smile on their face and not one drop of sweat. I would probably be more incind to get off my fat ass and go if I knew I would be surrounded by fellow fatties who can go about 26 seconds on the damn tredmil before they break a sweat comparable to a dam breaking. Or before they start wheezing and begging for death to come soon so that skinny chick who thinks she so overweight who has been running for 2 hours doesn’ t look over to ask, with no shortness of breath whatsoever, “ Oh my god! Are you okay?!” COME ON!!! I’ m like the damn whale from Pinocchio doin cardio over here!!! Of course I’ m not okay!! Go eat a bucket of chicken.
When people call and ask for someone that clearly isn’ t you, so you say “ sorry, you have the wrong number.” And they go, “ is this 555-1234?” and you’ re like, “ Yes, but Fabio doesn’ t live here.” So they hang up…AND CALL BACK!! What the hell? Did I not just tell you Fab doesn’ t live here?
When you call someone but you’ re not really sure if you have the right number-to-person and their answering machine picks up and says, “ Hi. You’ ve reached 555-1234…” YEAH I KNOW!! I just dialed it, who the hell lives here?!
People who stare. Like, you’ re waiting for the bus and everyone who drives by feels the need to gawk at you like you have 5 heads and 12 horns on each one. Seriously man, your PT Cruiser with flames is way uglier than public transportation. LOOK AT THE DAMN ROAD!!!
On the topic of cars with flames – Flames. Anything someone puts a ‘ wicked badass flame’ on. Seriously, not badass. Looks ridiculous.
The people who come into my store and expect me to know what they want because they were there three weeks ago when I was working.
When people say or type “ Ugh.” … Or “ lawls.” What the hell is lawls?
People who feel the need to show off their incredible driving skills by driving like a freakin idiot. Is squealing the tires of your rusted burgundy lemon really necessary? No.
I understand why people do this, but I get really offended when someone thinks I am low enough to watch you put your pin number in. If I were going to steal your money, I wouldn’ t be working at a garage/gas station!!
Radio stations. Not only do the majority of them play just terrible music, they have to talk all the damn time! Y’ know, between playing shitty music! If I wanted talk-radio, I’ d put it on a talk-radio station. I don’ t care about stupid inner-office jokes that you think are funny. I want to hear a joke of a song on my way to work, thank you! And I know I’ m not the only one. Also, have you ever noticed that all the females sound the same? Not trying to be rude with that one, just an observation.
Small talk. Any of it. Examples:
“ Is it hot enough for yah?”
No man. S’ all good. I’ m sweating a damn ocean just standing here, but I think it could stand to get a little hotter.
“ Burr! Winters coming.”
Seriously? I guess I didn’ t get the notice that it’ s October in Canada!! Of course winter is coming!!
“ Did the Sens win last night?
Suck my dick.
And that’ s what really grinds my gears.
BACK
You know what really grinds my gears?
When gyms advertise with pictures of super thin/ripped people who always have a smile on their face and not one drop of sweat. I would probably be more incind to get off my fat ass and go if I knew I would be surrounded by fellow fatties who can go about 26 seconds on the damn tredmil before they break a sweat comparable to a dam breaking. Or before they start wheezing and begging for death to come soon so that skinny chick who thinks she so overweight who has been running for 2 hours doesn’ t look over to ask, with no shortness of breath whatsoever, “ Oh my god! Are you okay?!” COME ON!!! I’ m like the damn whale from Pinocchio doin cardio over here!!! Of course I’ m not okay!! Go eat a bucket of chicken.
When people call and ask for someone that clearly isn’ t you, so you say “ sorry, you have the wrong number.” And they go, “ is this 555-1234?” and you’ re like, “ Yes, but Fabio doesn’ t live here.” So they hang up…AND CALL BACK!! What the hell? Did I not just tell you Fab doesn’ t live here?
When you call someone but you’ re not really sure if you have the right number-to-person and their answering machine picks up and says, “ Hi. You’ ve reached 555-1234…” YEAH I KNOW!! I just dialed it, who the hell lives here?!
People who stare. Like, you’ re waiting for the bus and everyone who drives by feels the need to gawk at you like you have 5 heads and 12 horns on each one. Seriously man, your PT Cruiser with flames is way uglier than public transportation. LOOK AT THE DAMN ROAD!!!
On the topic of cars with flames – Flames. Anything someone puts a ‘ wicked badass flame’ on. Seriously, not badass. Looks ridiculous.
The people who come into my store and expect me to know what they want because they were there three weeks ago when I was working.
When people say or type “ Ugh.” … Or “ lawls.” What the hell is lawls?
People who feel the need to show off their incredible driving skills by driving like a freakin idiot. Is squealing the tires of your rusted burgundy lemon really necessary? No.
I understand why people do this, but I get really offended when someone thinks I am low enough to watch you put your pin number in. If I were going to steal your money, I wouldn’ t be working at a garage/gas station!!
Radio stations. Not only do the majority of them play just terrible music, they have to talk all the damn time! Y’ know, between playing shitty music! If I wanted talk-radio, I’ d put it on a talk-radio station. I don’ t care about stupid inner-office jokes that you think are funny. I want to hear a joke of a song on my way to work, thank you! And I know I’ m not the only one. Also, have you ever noticed that all the females sound the same? Not trying to be rude with that one, just an observation.
Small talk. Any of it. Examples:
“ Is it hot enough for yah?”
No man. S’ all good. I’ m sweating a damn ocean just standing here, but I think it could stand to get a little hotter.
“ Burr! Winters coming.”
Seriously? I guess I didn’ t get the notice that it’ s October in Canada!! Of course winter is coming!!
“ Did the Sens win last night?
Suck my dick.
And that’ s what really grinds my gears.
BACK
