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FORMAL TEXTING
The age of texting has made social interaction completely rediculous. For example, I recieved a text message from a friend of mine that read: "dood u wnt 2 g2 the mall w/me 2day @4 2 git pnts?" What? First and foremost, what the hell? Secondly, no way, I hate the mall.
Regardless, there is no reason for this sillyness. In fact, I set about to proove that you can have a perfectly polite conversation with a friend via text. This morning, I texted Sound Faction BFF Shep to ask her if she would like to join me for a coffee date, she replied in kind, and we had a perfectly pleasent text conversation to plan to meet. It reads as follows:
Caity's Text:
Dear Ms. Shepard, your presence is respectfully requested at Timothy Hortons for high tea. Regards, Caitlin M. Brown, Esq.
Shep's Text:
Ms Brown, While I much desire to acquiesce to your request regarding my presence at Timothy Hortons this fine day, I must first, with all the respect due to such a fine long-standing aquaintaince as yourself, inquire as to what time you desire to imbibe of said high tea. Sincerely, Kathryn Shepard esq. ect.
Caity's Text:
My dear Kathryn, where as high tea standardly occurs betwixt the hours of three and five post meridiem, I am willing to meet with you, my esteemed colleague, at whichever hour should fit within your schedule. I await your reply with baited breath, Caitlin M Brown, Esq, Ph.D.
Shep's Text:
My dearest Ms. Brown, alas, my schedule during the middle hours of the day today is occupied by some unspeakable business involving needles and the donation of that most valuable essence of life. However, if afterward I remain in the land of the alive and well, with none of the side effects possible to incur after such an excursion, then high tea at Timothy Hortons would be a most welcome interlude in the monotony of a dreary Tuesday. I should become available by the half-hour past two this afternoon. Sincerely, Kathryn Shepard, Esq., M.D., LCPC, PhD.
Caity's Text:
My dear Ms. Shepard, best of luck in your charitable donation. I wish that I could be as socially charitable as you, my friend, however, I am hindered by a distressing lack of Iron in my lifestream. My best wishes that you come through your ordeal unaffected and satisfied with your contribution to the wellbeing of the ill and in need. should you be well enough to join me for high tea, you may call upon me this afternoon after you conclude your business. Regards and god speed, Caitlin M. Brown, Esq. PhD, BDS, CDA, NP, KAO.
OK, so maybe we went a little overboard, but it was for a point! The next time I get a text "datz typd lyke dis!!" I'm going to ignore it, and block the number from my phone for real. Also, I hate texting with a passion.
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Regardless, there is no reason for this sillyness. In fact, I set about to proove that you can have a perfectly polite conversation with a friend via text. This morning, I texted Sound Faction BFF Shep to ask her if she would like to join me for a coffee date, she replied in kind, and we had a perfectly pleasent text conversation to plan to meet. It reads as follows:
Caity's Text:
Dear Ms. Shepard, your presence is respectfully requested at Timothy Hortons for high tea. Regards, Caitlin M. Brown, Esq.
Shep's Text:
Ms Brown, While I much desire to acquiesce to your request regarding my presence at Timothy Hortons this fine day, I must first, with all the respect due to such a fine long-standing aquaintaince as yourself, inquire as to what time you desire to imbibe of said high tea. Sincerely, Kathryn Shepard esq. ect.
Caity's Text:
My dear Kathryn, where as high tea standardly occurs betwixt the hours of three and five post meridiem, I am willing to meet with you, my esteemed colleague, at whichever hour should fit within your schedule. I await your reply with baited breath, Caitlin M Brown, Esq, Ph.D.
Shep's Text:
My dearest Ms. Brown, alas, my schedule during the middle hours of the day today is occupied by some unspeakable business involving needles and the donation of that most valuable essence of life. However, if afterward I remain in the land of the alive and well, with none of the side effects possible to incur after such an excursion, then high tea at Timothy Hortons would be a most welcome interlude in the monotony of a dreary Tuesday. I should become available by the half-hour past two this afternoon. Sincerely, Kathryn Shepard, Esq., M.D., LCPC, PhD.
Caity's Text:
My dear Ms. Shepard, best of luck in your charitable donation. I wish that I could be as socially charitable as you, my friend, however, I am hindered by a distressing lack of Iron in my lifestream. My best wishes that you come through your ordeal unaffected and satisfied with your contribution to the wellbeing of the ill and in need. should you be well enough to join me for high tea, you may call upon me this afternoon after you conclude your business. Regards and god speed, Caitlin M. Brown, Esq. PhD, BDS, CDA, NP, KAO.
OK, so maybe we went a little overboard, but it was for a point! The next time I get a text "datz typd lyke dis!!" I'm going to ignore it, and block the number from my phone for real. Also, I hate texting with a passion.
BACK
